i love carrie fisher’s twitter because it’s just photos of her dog’s tongue, telling people to fuck off, embracing people calling her ‘mom’, retweeting old star wars set pictures, cute selfies (with her dog’s tongue), and favoriting tweets where people ask if she and harrison had an affair. and every tweet is complete with emojis and in the twitter style of cher. i love carrie fisher
bonuses (which probably fall under the ‘fuck off’ category):
growing up, I had no friends. i was the weird kid who made their crayons battle each other in cheepy voices during a lesson and dance randomly while in line for the library. no one wanted to be close with me, not even the bullies.
so one week in 2nd grade, ever day kids were getting their shoe laces tied together as a prank between friends or kids and their bullies. i wanted in on the fun, but no one liked me.so one day, i decided i’d tie my own shoes together. for funzies. what I didn’t expect, not 5 minutes after i laced those suckers together like 8x with my extra long laces, for my teacher to announce we were heading to the auditorium ACROSS THE SCHOOL for a special performance
i find myself at the back of the line, shuffling and hopping along, because I tied these things so good i couldn’t get them untied in time. i was so unpopular, none of my classmates noticed. i tripped and smacked my chin on the concrete 20 feet from the auditorium. i watched with tears in my eyes & blood on my chin as they all filed into the auditorium without me. i laid there for a bit, picked myself up, and started to work on those stupid laces, when two 8th graders rounded the corner and found me. they were so upset. “oh my GOSH, who DID this to you!?? you poor, poor thing!!” they helped me up and took me into the nurse’s office.
fast forward 45 minutes to little 7 year old me sheepishly sitting in the chair of the principal’s office, fixed shoes, band aid on chin. with my father, my principal, and my teacher all looking pained at this poor, bullied child who wouldn’t fess up to who pulled this trick on her.